Contact | Michael Joseph, Esq. — Attorney & Mayor of Imaginationville

Get In Touch

Contact The Firm

One attorney. Four voicemail boxes. A response time the firm describes as “eventual.”

Request A Consultation

This form is decorative. It is not connected to anything and never has been. Submitting it does nothing, which the firm considers a feature.

First Name

Last Name

Phone

Matter Type

Tell Us About Your Matter

I understand that submitting this form does not create an attorney-client relationship, a mayor-constituent relationship, or any relationship, and that the firm may nevertheless bill me.

Office

The Law Offices of Michael Joseph, Esq.
1 Squiggle Plaza, Suite ½
Imaginationville, State of Make-Believe 00000

Suite ½ is between Suite 1 and the stairwell. The entrance is behind the vending machine. Knock in a way that sounds official.

Phone & Fax

Main: 1-800-NOT-GUILTY
After Hours: 1-800-STILL-NOT-GUILTY
Fax: shared with the Office of the Mayor
Emergency: leave a flag on the dock

Office Hours

Monday – Thursday	11:00 a.m. – 1:45 p.m.
Friday	By rumor only
Saturday	At the marina
Sunday	Unreachable by design
Third Tuesday	Closed — Mayor Appreciation Day (Mandatory)

Notice To Media & Investigators

Members of the press and representatives of any select subcommittee are asked to direct all inquiries in writing to the Office of the Mayor, where they will be received, logged, and placed in Ledger B.

Directions

Take the Michael Joseph Memorial Bridge to the Michael Joseph Interchange, exit onto Michael Joseph Boulevard (formerly Elm), and continue past the commemorative bricks until you see a building with no sign on it. That is Squiggle Plaza. Parking is enforced aggressively and the cameras are new.