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Bar Status: Active (For Now) · Office: 1 Slimeball Avenue, Imaginationville Now Also Serving As: Mayor · Currently: Pretending To Cooperate While Not Cooperating Fully*

Michael JosephEsq.

Attorney at Law · Mayor · Person of Interest · Facing Contempt Charges

1-800-VERY-GUILTY Free consultation · Fees apply to consultation

Attorney · Mayor · Currently Available

Justice. Delivered Quickly.
Sometimes To The Right Person.

For over fourteen years, Michael Joseph, Esq. has fought tirelessly for corrupt members of Congress — and, when scheduling allowed between congressional recesses, for his clients. Today he serves as your Mayor, your advocate, and, in three ongoing matters, your opposing counsel.

Free* Consultation See The Record

*Consultation is free of charge. A $400 Consultation Fee applies.

Statement from the Mayor's Office

Regarding the Congressional Matter

Mayor Joseph is aware that the House Select Subcommittee on Ethics has voted to refer him for contempt. He wishes the residents of City to know that he has read the referral, that he did not understand it, and that he considers the matter closed.

Not because he is innocent but because he did not understand the referral.

The Mayor is cooperating fully within the ordinary meaning of “cooperating,” excluding the production of documents, the answering of questions, and attendance.

How We Can Help

Practice Areas

A full-service firm of one attorney, four voicemail boxes, and a willingness to setup shell companies to funnel foreign funds.

Municipal Governance

Zoning variances, permit expediting, and the occasional facade alteration of a public structure. If your project needs an exception, the Mayor has the authority to grant it and the law firm to bill you for it.

Conflict-of-interest waivers available at the front desk. Bring a pen.

Contempt Defense

Congressional, judicial, or general. Our office has handled contempt proceedings from every angle — as counsel, as co-counsel, and, most recently, as the subject.

Retainer required in advance, in cash, in a duffel of your choosing.

Shell Company Law

We assist in the formation, management, and dissolution of shell companies. Our services include setting up complex ownership structures, maintaining corporate secrecy, and ensuring compliance with local and international regulations. Works best for politicians

All shell companies are for legitimate purposes only.

Corruption Defense

We defend clients accused of corruption, bribery, and other political improprieties. Our approach is to ensure that the legal consequences are minimized while maintaining plausible deniability.

All defenses are subject to the availability of evidence and the discretion of the court.

Business Formation

LLCs, S-corps, Shady Shell Companies, holding companies, and holding companies for holding companies. Same-day formation. Same-day dissolution. Same-day formation again under a slightly different name.

Registered agent address is a P.O. box inside another P.O. box.

Public Records Requests

Need a document from the City? Our office is uniquely positioned to tell you it does not exist, and then, for an additional fee, to find it.

Ledger B is unavailable. Please stop asking about Ledger B.

Meet Your Attorney

Michael Joseph, Esq.

Fourteen years at the bar, three of them consecutive. Michael has represented the people of his corrupt inner circle as counsel, as Mayor, and — in matters he describes as “procedurally interesting” — as both at once. He answers his own phone, drafts his own contracts, and signs his own approvals.

Read His Full Bio View Résumé

$40M+
Recovered For Clients
Figure includes funds recovered, funds anticipated, and funds imagined.
214
Cases Won
211 were against the same defendant, who has since moved away.
0
Questions Answered Under Oath
A perfect record the Mayor intends to protect.

What People Are Saying

Client Testimonials

Collected, transcribed, and lightly improved by the firm.

“I came in with a parking ticket and left as the co-owner of a shell company in the Cayman Islands. I still have the parking ticket, but I feel I've grown.” — Cherfilus-McCormick, Satisfied Client
“Michael got my case dismissed in eleven minutes. The judge is his brother-in-law, but eleven minutes is eleven minutes.” — H. Roos, Twice a Client, Once a Witness
“He renamed our street after himself without telling anybody. Property values went up. I can't explain it and I've stopped trying.” — The Residents of Michael Joseph Boulevard (formerly Elm)
“The witness was repeatedly instructed to answer. The witness repeatedly described a boat.” — L. Joseph-Noel

Recognition

Honors & Distinctions

Awarded to Michael Joseph, Esq. by organizations of varying independence.

Top 1 Attorney in Imaginationville 2019–2026
Gold Seal Michael Joseph Foundation for Legal Excellence
Voted #1 By a Poll He Commissioned
Litigator Of The Year, Category of One
Key To The City (Issued It To Himself)

The Michael Joseph Foundation for Legal Excellence is funded, directed, staffed, and judged by Michael Joseph, Esq. Its selection process is confidential and its selection is Michael Joseph, Esq.

Talk To Michael Today

Whether you are buying property, forming a company, or receiving mail from a congressional subcommittee, the Law Offices of Michael Joseph, Esq. can help you understand your options and then choose the one that is best for Michael Joseph, Esq.

Request A Consultation